So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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