Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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