How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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