careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
