if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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