this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
