About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
No stitches, just platelets and will power
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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