AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
