I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
