when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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