redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
