I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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