think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
