omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
