lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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