and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
