OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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