she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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