That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
