This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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