I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
