ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
