but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
