I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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