So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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