god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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