In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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