Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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