Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
God I need to hump something, right now.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
