I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
