It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
