I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
