I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
