My friends, they love my intelligence
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
