Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
