Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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