I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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