so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
