with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
