Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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