we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
