we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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