Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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