i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
