a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
