So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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