Nicole vs. Life
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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