She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
