well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
