here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
