I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
